Is There an Art of Turning Strangers into Friends?

Abstract

In today's world, we have learned to be more standoffish in fear of being hurt or being emerged in technology. It is still possible to build relationships with new acquaintances if we understand communication.

Communicating effectively is becoming a lost art. The internet and texting have become a large medium of communication, and although face to face interaction is still used we are not as skilled as we once were. How does that affect how we develop business and personal relationships? Let’s talk about some skills that can help in interacting in the business world and are also basic to connect with complete strangers.

In any type of business situation, it can sometimes be difficult to relate and communicate with others. Most of the time we encounter people that we have never met before. Often we have to evaluate and instinctively determine their needs and desires before a conversation even begins. By learning the art of turning strangers into friends, we can quickly make others feel at ease. Some of the most successful people have that ability. In fact, that is one of the most important aspects of any successful business that deals with the public or other businesses.

We all know that some people were born outgoing and personable. Others are more reserved and contemplative. The uniqueness of both types of personalities has its strengths in communication. People that are more reserved often have great insight into people and heightened observational skills.

Everyone can sharpen their people skills by knowing a few key tools. It may come easier to some than others; but, with time and consistent practice, everyone can improve to some degree. The goal is to understand how to relate to others by appreciating their uniqueness while appreciating your own.

Some simple principles and ideas that will help you achieve your goals are; look at everyone as equals, not in terms of superior or inferior. No matter how successful, affluent, intelligent or lofty social status, we basically equal. This valuable concept is extremely profound and could literally change the way you look at life. Maybe the other person has achieved a degree of success in areas that you have not. You undoubtedly have achieved success where others have not. Even if someone’s achievements are not as noticeable, they are just as important and contributes to society as a whole.

Focusing on the similarities rather than the differences and finding something you and the other person have in common can bring down barriers. No matter how many people we meet, eventually we will learn something about the other person that we have in common. Create a bond with what your commonalities are.

Enjoy the differences. One of the beauties of life is diversity. If everyone looked the same, acted the same, had the same talents, thoughts ideas and abilities, life would be boring. It is like an intricate patchwork quilt. The variety of patterns and colors create beauty and interest. It takes a lifetime to become who we are. No two people experience the exact same events, trials, encounters, or exposures in life. That is why we are all unique individuals. Everyone has something they can teach us if we are open to them.

Ask questions and be genuinely interested in learning about the other person. Others know when we are not sincere. When we are just acting nice to get the upper hand, people know it. They will not trust you and lose faith in what you are relating to them. Once trust is gone, it is almost impossible to get it back.

Listening more than you talk is hard. Listening takes energy and conscious effort, but the rewards to both the speaker and the listener are endless. You will learn much more by listening than by constant chattering without input from the other individual. How can you know someone’s needs, or build a relationship, if you haven’t listened? Misinterpretation and misunderstandings can result. Communication is difficult in the best situations because what the speaker says and what the listener hears can be easily misunderstood. It happens all of the time, that is why carefully listening is so critical in our conversations, and if you need clarification, ask questions.

Be honest and direct. In the business world, it is better to be upfront and tell the truth, than that they find out later you misled them. People will share their negative experiences quicker and more loudly than they will positive ones, especially in our society of social media. This can kill a business quicker than anything. On a personal note, we all feel more comfortable with a “straight shooter” than someone than is slick and trying to manipulate us. Our close friends are those we can be totally honest with and they can be honest with us. Trust has been built and we know they have our best interests at heart and have our backs and vice versa. Shouldn’t we begin all our relationships with being honest? I am not talking about telling someone you just met about all your intimate details or saying something offensive, it’s about being sincere and not manipulative.

Show the other person respect by not talking down to them. You may be knowledgeable about things you have taken time to learn about, but this may be their first introduction. Remember you were once there too. Respect the fact that they may never feel the interest you have, and that is ok.

The world is full of unique and interesting people. The more we work on ourselves and our attitudes of others, the more we will see the beauty in others. I guarantee if you apply these principles, you will be surprised at how many of your business associates and new acquaintances will become lifelong friends.